First a few words about safety: Sexually transmitted diseases are generally spread from mucous membrane to mucous membrane. The interior of a vagina is a mucous membrane as is the urethra and your mouth. If you are going to perform oral sex without any prophylaxis you are basically having unprotected sex. There are flavored condoms available but I’ve yet to discover a satisfactory way of performing cunnilingus with a prophylactic. Getting checked for STDs together might not seem very sexy but it does remove certain fears and fear is just about the least sexy thing a person can feel.
Enough of that, now for the fun stuff.
This might seem an odd thing to say but; a vagina and a penis are very similar. No, hear me out, a clitoris and the head of a penis (called the glans) serve the same function, as a bundle of nerves designed to feel every little thing that’s happening to them. They both have ‘hoods’ to cover and protect them from excess friction (circumcised men have had this hood removed), the urethra sits just below the clitoris in women and in men it passes through the head of a penis which is, sort of, wrapped around it. Both structures have excess skin that contains more than the average number of nerve endings. What I’m getting at is this; if you like something done to your genitals it isn’t really all that hard to translate that to those of the opposite sex.
Now then, despite that I’m going to break this down into two sections; cunnilingus (oral sex on a woman) and fellatio (oral sex on a man) because it’s just easier that way. I’d suggest you read both even if you never intend to practice the other one, because it might give you ideas for what you may like. At the very least you can compare what I’ve written to what you actually do like because we -are- all different and we all like different things. That’s what makes sex so much fun.
Well, that and the orgasms.
Fellatio – The best way to perform fellatio is to think of it as an enhanced hand-job. With that in mind – grasp the base of the penis firmly (not too firmly, you don’t want to cut off blood flow) and begin to move the skin up and down the shaft in a rhythmic fashion. Start slow and work up to a speed that feels comfortable for you and which you can maintain for a reasonable amount of time.
While doing this, use your tongue to circle the head of the penis. Many people like to rhythmically lick the head like a lollipop, in an up and down fashion. Take the head into your mouth, continuing to perform the hand and tongue motions. At this point you may want to remember that a penis is very sensitive tissue so keep your teeth covered with your lips. Some men like a little suction (a -little-, few people want a hickey on their genitals) some don’t.
You may want to move your head rhythmically up and down, simulating the action of vaginal sex. Vary the motions of your tongue, lips and head for a little variety. The roof of your mouth is ridged and may feel quite pleasant against the head of his penis as well. Also, the underside of the penis, just below the head, is very sensitive, if you are angled right, you can take advantage of this.
When the man is about to have an orgasm his penis will begin twitching, it may take some practice to get the timing right but you can generally avoid a mouthful of sperm fairly easily. He may also be nice enough to warn you (hint, hint) when he is about to have an orgasm. When he begins to have an orgasm, and I can’t stress this enough, keep moving your hand on the shaft but stop manipulating the head, there’s a point where continued action to the head of the penis becomes unpleasant but that point is often hard to determine because it happens during the orgasm.
Cunnilingus – A woman’s clitoris is located above the vagina, it is generally a ‘bump’ of tissue about the size of the end of your pinky finger and will be covered with a hood of skin. The clitoral hood will seem to be the beginning of a ridge of skin that extends around the vaginal orifice called the labia minora. The urethra is a small opening between the clitoris and the vagina and the vagina itself may have a patch of skin covering it within the labia minora called the hymen (if she’s a virgin) or that piece of skin will be ruptured and healed.
Moisten your fingers either with your mouth or with her vaginal fluids and, slowly, begin moving them up and down the labias. Many women enjoy fingers inserted into their vagina along with a circular motion or manipulation of the G-spot which is located about an inch or two inside the vagina on the anterior wall. While doing this, make circular motions on her clitoris with your tongue. Start slowly and gradually increase your speed until you’ve reached a comfortable level that you can maintain easily. Probably not a good idea to go too fast, friction burns are something of a turn off for most women and even a moistened tongue can create quite a bit of friction.
The clitoris is a very sensitive piece of tissue, the hood of the clitoris ameliorates the sensations being applied to it and will keep you from over-stimulating it so you may want to focus your efforts on just the clitoral hood. You may want to vary the action of your tongue from circular to either a left and right motion or up and down. I’ve heard it suggested that making your tongue ‘write’ the alphabet on her clitoris is an excellent way to keep it varied.
Occasionally moving your tongue and lips up and down the labia minora will both vary the sensations she’s experiencing and give your jaw muscles and tongue a break.
Now, you may find it difficult to use your fingers on, or in, her vagina while performing cunnilingus, this is fine, just remember that a clitoris is not the only sexual organ a woman has and over-stimulation will result in an unpleasant intensity of sensation so remember to vary it up. The labia also has more than the average number of nerve endings and some women like to have their partner suck the labial lips or ‘nibble’ at them, some don’t.
When she experiences orgasm, you need to stop manipulating her clitoris, switch your efforts to her labia or even use your tongue to simulate the action of sex by inserting it into her vagina repeatedly. During an orgasm, the clitoris becomes ‘overcharged’ and continued stimulation can become unpleasant for her.
General Tips – When performing oral sex you may want to keep in mind that your partner’s genitalia is only one of many, many erogenous zones, several of which are within easy reach. If you’ve got a hand free, why not run your nails down their belly, or caress the inside of their thighs.
Cupping or caressing the buttocks and tweaking, fondling or otherwise manipulating the nipples can also be very pleasant for some people. Including their whole body in sex will increase your partner’s pleasure and make them feel attractive and sexy. We are more than just our genitalia after all.
Attitude counts for more than technique, being enthusiastic about pleasing your partner will often drive them over the edge into that mind-blowing orgasm they’ve always wanted. To that end, try making eye contact and smile with your eyes, or moan while going down on them. The vibration often adds a nice sensation to the experience.
Deep Throat – The term “deep throat” comes from a movie of the same name released in the early seventies, the premise of which is that Linda Lovelace had a clitoris in the back of her throat and was unable to achieve orgasm through regular sex so she had to basically swallow an erection to have an orgasm.
No one has that, no one, I can’t stress this enough. The only thing waiting at the back of anyone’s throat is a gag reflex. Apparently the action of someone gagging on a penis is supposed to feel pleasant for the man whose penis is being gagged on but… okay, try this; go to your sink and stick both your fingers as deep into your throat as they will go. Go ahead, I’ll wait.
Da da di da “My Caroline” da da da “sunshine never felt so good”
Ah, you’re back, how did that feel? What? You want to punch my testicles into my brain? Okay, fair enough. Now imagine someone grabbed the back of your head and made you feel that over and over again.
Probably not a good idea to be -that- guy.